5 Dating Tips For Short men

This article originally appeared here

Short men are screwed when it comes to dating, right?

After all: most things in your dating life can be worked on and improved upon, but the cold hard truth is that some aspects are set in stone. One of those is height… and there are few other aspects that cause men as much dating agita as being short. If you’re not 6 feet tall or taller, then you may as well just resign yourself to a sexless life of Napoleon jokes.

“Sure, let’s see you call me short WHEN I CONQUER MOST OF THE KNOWN WORLD.”

Of course, short is relative; what we consider “average” height varies depending on geographic locale and someone who’s 5’6″ would consider someone who’s 5’9″ (the average for American men) to be lucky. But hey, that’s cold comfort when women are putting “six feet tall, minimum” in their dating profiles and your friends all call you “Short Round”.

The thing is, as with many other masculine insecurities, this is predominantly in our heads. At 5’8″, I’m short for an American caucasian male. Worse, I’m the shortest of all my friends who range from 5’1o” on the short side, to 6’7″ on the tall side. But my height has only been as much of a problem as I’d let it be. Over the years, I’ve dated and slept with women of all heights, ranging from 5’1″ to six-foot tall amazons. The trick is understanding how to make height less of an issue.

Seem like a tall order1

It’s not, if you know the secrets.

5) Ditch the Short Man Attitude.

One of the worst things that guys can do to themselves is to get defensive about being short. Look, I get it: you’ve been getting Oompa Loompa jokes since forever. You’ve been called midget, Tiny Tim, Grumpy and all the other names. You watch women – even women who’re around your height – pass you by to date taller men. Society tends to equate height with masculinity and power; when you are lacking in one, you feel that people assume you’re lacking in the others as well. You’re understandably resentful about it. I completely sympathize with it.

But you know what’s unattractive on everyone? Bitterness.

I have lost track of how many short men I have seen, online and in person, who are seething balls of venom and rancor over the unfairness of it all. There’s a reason why “short men are angry” and “Napoleon complex” are stereotypes, after all. The truth is that barely-sublimated anger makes itself known in everyaspect of your life. It bleeds into your body language and into the way you talk and relate to others. Youmay think that you’re hiding it like the professional poker-player you could be, but in reality, that sour attitude is shining off you like an especially greasy halo.

Who doesn’t want to get with Glower McPoutyPants, the last of the red-hot lovers?

The other common mistake that the height-deficient make is assuming that they’re rejected in advance. This pre-rejection theory quickly becomes either an excuse to not approach (thus guaranteeing that nothing happens) or colors the entire interaction (ditto). Approaching anyone, whether online or in person, with the attitude of “I know you don’t like me” is going to kill any potential attraction, no matter how awesome you may be otherwise. A shitty attitude, whether angry and aggressive or defeated and negative, will nuke any chance of sex or love faster than telling them that you eat live puppies.

The attitude that your height is a defect and nobody could possibly love a short man is attraction poison. Is height an attractive feature? Yes, it is. But notice how carefully I said an attractive feature, not the. There is a world of men who are considered brain-meltingly, panty-soakingly hot who are also under 5’11”. Jason Statham is 5′9″. Robert Downey Jr. is 5′8″.  Daniel Radcliffe is 5′5″. Peter Dinklage is a goddamned sex symbol now because of the way he plays Tyrion Lannister.

Hey, I’m almost as tall as Jason Statham! Sweet! (click to enlarge)

Yes, you’re short. Yes, some people find height attractive. You know what’s universallyattractive? Confidence. The more you let your height (or lack thereof) bother you, the less attractive you get. A short man with confidence is far more attractive than a tall guy without it. Yes, you may have to fake it for a while as you unlearn the bullshit that’s been shredding your ego. That’s fine. Just remember: Cultivating an air of ease and self-assurance is not only attractive in and of itself, but it leads into my next tip:

4) Develop Presence

It’s not how tall you are; it’s how tall people feel you are. There are some people who can fill a room, regardless of how tall they are or aren’t. They’re the ones who stand out in people’s memories, who can command attention (and affection) with seeming ease.

One of the best things you can do – especially as a short man – is to develop your sense of presence.

Presence is, simply, your ability to command people’s attention. It’s the way that you can make people focus on you instead of the distractions that surround them. As I’m always saying: attraction isn’t about looks, it’s about how you make people feeland when you can make them feel like they’re the only person in the world, you become magnetic.

Ok, so maybe presenting them with a globe will be taking things too far…

The best way to develop presence is to be present. OK, before you click the back button in disgust, hear me out. Most of us rarely give our full focus to somebody. We inevitably find our focus divided among the million little things that occupy our attention. But when we feel like someone is giving us their full, undivided attention… it’s amazing. They make us feel special. One of the reasons why Tom Cruise is so ridiculously charismatic is because he can make anyone feel like they’re the most fascinating person in the world. Simply connecting with them – strong (but not intimidating) eye contact, open and relaxed body language, and actively listening instead of waiting for your turn to talk – is absurdly powerful. When you can build presence, women won’t remember you as that short man at the party. They’ll remember you as that incredibly charming guy who made them feel like he got them in a way nobody else did.

3) Work Your Style

One of the mistakes that short men make is that they dress in ways that emphasize their lack of height. The last thing you want to cut yourself off at the knees… ore, more accurately, at the waist. One of the reasons I tend to be remembered as being taller than I actually am is that I dress in such a way that flatters my physique and gives a more unified silhouette.

First and foremost: embrace monochrome. One of the biggest mistakes that men make is to wear clothing with a strong contrast – a white shirt, brown belt and blue jeans for example. The problem with this is that the sudden color change – from white to brown to blue – creates a visual interruption. The eye doesn’t travel smoothly down your profile; the sudden change cuts you in half, truncating your torso and skewing your proportions. Instead, you want clothes that are relatively consistent in hue. They don’t have to be perfectly monochrome – you don’t need to dress head to toe in black, for example – but keeping things within the same color-scheme helps the eye track over your body without stopping. This is one of the benefits of suits – the uniform color scheme helps create a unified silhouette.

This man is actually 4’11”.

Similarly, vertical patterns and stripes will help direct the eye in the ways you want. The old saw about how vertical stripes is based on this idea. The stripes encourage your eye to follow them up and down, which creates the impression of height while your eyes want to follow horizontal stripes to the side, creating width. Even subtle patterns in the fabric, such as herringbone weaves, can help you slim your visual profile and make you seem taller. However, you want to keep those stripes thin – think pin-striping, rather than wide blocks of color. Wider stripes don’t work as well. Window-pane patterns are a definite no; the horizontal stripes and the negative space created negate the eye-tracking effect you’re looking for.

It’s also important to wear clothes that fit – and this means clothes that are cut close to your body. Straight-leg jeans, slim-fitting tees, fitted dress shirts… these are all your friends when it comes to creating the illusion of height. Baggy clothing is clothing that hangs off of you, creating the impression that it’s too large. The last thing you want is the “kid wearing Daddy’s clothing” look – which also makes you look shorter. Clothes that are cut close create a smother, sleeker silhouette which minimizes the visual cues that subtly imply a lack of stature. Yes, you may love your relaxed fit jeans but trust me: they’re doing you no favors.

But what about artificial height-extenders such as boots or lifts? I’m not in favor of them to be perfectly honest. I had a pair of New Rock boots that made me a good three inches taller which felt amazing. But at the same time… well, those shoes had to come off eventually and the women noticed that suddenly I was at boob-level instead of eye-level. A subtle lift – one inch or less – can be a confidence booster but honestly, it’s just a shoe-version of Dumbo’s magic feather.

2) De-Prioritize Online Dating

This one’s gonna suck, but I have to be honest: online dating may not be the best venue for short men looking to meet women. There are many women who will make height – especially heights of 5’9″ and under – a deal-breaker.

“Screw your anaconda, I want my giraffe!”

One of the great things about online dating is also one of the biggest problems with online dating: we can screen for specific traits we want. The problem with this is that what we think we want isn’t always what we actually want and we may well miss out on people we may otherwise be incredibly compatible with. Online dating, sadly, doesn’t allow for as many happy accidents as meeting in person.

There isn’t much of a way of getting around this, unfortunately; people are allowed to set their standards wherever they wish after all. You aren’t going to have any luck trying to argue someone into giving you a chance. Lying about your height just to get past their filters is an absurdly bad idea – who’s going to want to begin a relationship based on obvious dishonesty – and listing your height as N/A is not only going to mean that you won’t show up in many searches but screams that you’re insecure about your height.

The cold hard truth is that short men may want to make online dating less of a priority when it comes to meeting people. By all means, continue to do so – make sure you have some awesome photos, message people who visit your profile and practice good dating SEO. But recognize that when you meet people in person, you have more of a chance to impress women with your wit, personality and charm – all of which works out to your advantage in the long run.

1) Date The Right Women

There will be women that don’t like short men.

That’s the cold hard truth. Yeah, it kind of sucks. There will be some women who are especially vocal about it, and that can sting too. But you have to ask yourself: why are you going to want to date someone who’s going to assume that your height means you have nothing to offer? It’s a sign that you are incompatible right off the bat. Let’s say that you, a short man of, say, 5’5″, asks someone out and she out-and-out laughs at the idea that you thought you had a shot with her. Yes, that can hurt but come on: she’s just shown you that she’s an asshole. You didn’t get rejected so much as dodged a fucking bullet. Why, in pluperfect hell, are you worried about what an asshole thinks? These women, in may ways, have done you a favor by self-selecting out of your dating pool, leaving you free to find women who you are compatible with.

But part of the point of dating and approaching isn’t to weed out assholes, it’s to find cool women who do want to date you. So who should you approach?

One of the first things you should consider is dating women close to your own height. The less of the difference in height, the less of an issue it tends to be. Considering that the average height for women in the US is 5’3″, the odds of finding someone your height or shorter are on your side.  But don’t get caught up in the idea that you can only date petite women or women who’re shorter than you… that leads into the same trap that leads to height being a social advantage.

In fact, you may want to consider tall women too.

Those hang-ups men have about height and it’s connection to masculinity? Women have absorbed them as well. Men aren’t the only people who’ve had those toxic messages about what makes a “real” manand strict gender-roles drilled into them, after all. The idea that men must be taller than women – towering, even – is born out of the idea of “man as protector” and “women as protected”. Just as many men get uncomfortable with women flouting gender roles by approaching, they get equally uncomfortable at the idea that a woman is somehow more powerful than he is.

Many tall women often find that men don’t want to date them because their height implies an inverse in the power dynamic, making those insecure men profoundly uncomfortable. Even men who are of relatively equal height may find tall women less attractive. They want to find someone who can appreciate them, who sees their value instead of weighing them against social rubric and gender roles.

You could very well be that someone. Appreciating a woman for the qualities that she does have instead of obsessing about what it may say about you demonstrates considerable confidence. And women will respond to that.

Just don’t make the common mistake of using her height as a come-on; telling a tall woman that you’d like to climb her like a jungle-gym is an invitation for a visit from the slap-fairy. And yes, I’ve seen people use that exact line before.

But regardless of whether she’s a sexy hobbit or the Amazon of your dreams, what matters most is attitude – yours and hers. You want to find women who are independently minded, who are willing to disregard the traditional role of “the man must be taller” and see you for who you are. But you have to do your part too; if you’re going to throw a sighing fit every time she wears heels, even the most patient woman in the world is going to get tired and start looking around for someone who’s more secure in themselves.

But regardless of the woman’s height, it’s important to own your own. Yes, being tall brings advantages in society; nobody is arguing that it doesn’t. But lacking an advantage in one area doesn’t invalidate success in other areas. Height is attractive, but it isn’t the only attractive feature. Bringing your best, most charming and confident self is the greatest dating advantage of all.

5 Ways Short Men Can Gain Confidence

This article originally appeared here 

What’s height got to do with it?

Growing up, I used to hate it when ladies described their ideal man with the phrase “tall, dark and handsome.” I am dark and definitely not too bad on the eye, but the tall part is where I have always had a little problem. If I knew then what I know now, I probably would have spent a little less time whining and more time enjoying my uniqueness. We don’t need some scientific facts to know that short people lack not just height but often a little confidence too. People are often mean to short people and the discrimination is so real that they actually came up with a name for it; Heightism. Should it really affect us so intensely that we are not as tall as some people would prefer? And are the ‘facts’ true about the supposed disadvantage of being short to career success and even academic performance? I will say this; Bullocks! It’s all a fad and not worth the bother. I learnt to stop whining over a thing I can’t change and actually don’t need to change. While I concede that there is no switch that can be flipped to turn up your self-confidence, I share here a few functional tips that can help you mentally and practically as they have helped me. What’s height got to do with anything after all?

1. Dwell More On The Advantages

I had to make this mental tweak a few years ago. I really don’t think I am short, just fun-sized. Have you considered the massive advantages of not being tall? For instance, every “class” in an airplane feels like first class to me. I can stretch them legs out and enjoy others squirming about the lack of space in economy class. I have the same luxury on buses and trains. Comfort y’all! It is also amusing and relieving how I am never stuck in human traffic in airports or in concerts. People actually let me stand in front of them at concerts. I clearly am no obstruction so I always enjoy the show front-row-center. I also don’t know if I am claustrophobic and I doubt if I can ever find out. I am cool in any space, and I never have to crouch down to get into a doorway. These are awesome perks that we should and must enjoy people. Focus on them and you’ll see how much fun you can have.

2. Dwell on the Examples

I was going to disabuse the notion that short people are rarely successful by using myself as an example of a short, successful person, but if that doesn’t put you at much ease (as it ought to by the way). I will point you to a few others. There are way too many examples of the short, wealthy and successful people for us to believe the myth. Think there are no short and successful actors? Well, what about Kevin Hart, the award-winning comedian, actor, and producer that seems to be in every movie these days. What about the legendary Al Pacino? I bet you didn’t even know he was below average. Wanna talk about Sports? Manny Pacquaio is the first and only boxer to win eight titles in eight different weight classes and he is 5’7. Lionel Messi is invincible in football and is the only player in the history of the Ballon d’or to win it 5 times; he is 5’7 as well. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Winston Churchill were both below average and amazing leaders in the Civil Rights Movement and Politics respectively. In conclusion, we Rock!

3. Make the Jokes first

People are bound to make those deprecating ill-humored jokes about your height. You can make those jokes lose their sting by countering it with some humor of your own. For instance, when people call me short, I say “I am not short, I just like the weather down here a little better.” This does a lot to deflate the ill meaning humor and get people to like me better. I once overhead a short man challenge a taller man in these words; “It’s a stalemate bro! You are taller than I am and I am shorter than you are, you can’t beat me both ways.” This way you guard your confidence by having fun with yourself.

4. Use All the Dazzling Clothes and Props

I had a friend in college who was about the same height as I was but unlike me was the darling of the entire class, because of his impeccable fashion sense. The brother looked good always! Looking good does two things: it builds your self-confidence while also reducing people’s “noticeability” of your height. People like good fashion sense naturally. The ladies have always worn any size heels …nothing is too much. As a guy, you can try the amazing new add height insoles that naturally adds to your height without being too obvious. Who cares? All is fair in fashion and I can stand side by side with anyone …well almost anyone and feel no qualms whatsoever.

5. Ignore all the B.S

Well, I have already debunked most of the B.S that flies around about short people, so there really is no reason hating on yourself. Self-love is the key for us ya’ll. If you are a singer/songwriter then be the next Bruno Mars or Bob Dylan (yeah they were short too.) Whatever, you can do, make sure you apply yourself fully, do your best and ignore all the B.S you might encounter. Height has got absolutely nothing to do with anything!

How tall is Tom Cruise, really? The strange world of celebrity height conspiracy theories

This article originally appeared in Telegraph

There’s a much-ballyhooed law of the internet that if something exists, there is pornography inspired by it. That no matter what weird or seemingly banal thing you can think of, somebody out there is getting their jollies to it. But that concept has a (presumably) cleaner doppelganger: that no matter how cripplingly boring a subject may seem, thousands are furiously talking about it in the depths of the web.

Founded in 2004, Celeb Heights is the brainchild of a cheery Glaswegian named Rob Paul, who writes on the site that he has been a tenacious chronicler of celebrity heights since the age of 14, when he unexpectedly stopped growing. He stands (officially, with pictures and everything) at 5’ 8.75”, and has posted videos on YouTube instructing the best ways to pose with celebrities to prove their respective heights.

But Celeb Heights isn’t some measly one-man operation. It is in fact a terrifyingly gargantuan community for the height obsessed, where thousands have congregated for over a decade to swap tales of personal encounters with famous faces, source photos that either prove or disprove quoted guesses of celeb measurements and furiously debate whether or not Amanda Holden is indeed 5’ 4” as she claims.

Holden is barely skimming the surface of said database, however, with every vaguely famous celebrity you can think of being endlessly dissected in regards to their height.

Take Dennis Waterman, an actor never on the tips of many people’s tongues these days, but who is one of the many stars responsible for the very active discussions on the site. Likely unhelped by a Little Britain sketch that depicted him as extremely small, Waterman is the subject of much consternation between Celeb Heights users, with members swapping personal anecdotes and seemingly random hypotheses in an attempt to solve the mystery of just how tall he is.

“I once met Dennis Waterman at a football match,” writes a user known as A Giant Among Men. “I was expecting him to be quite tall considering the hard man roles he played in his early career. I managed to get myself stood next to him at the bar but was disappointed to find he was smaller than me.”

Others are kinder: “In around 1987 I walked past Dennis Waterman and Rula Lenska [on the] South Bank, and he seemed taller than [5’ 8”] at the time – I would have put him about 5’ 10/11”.”

The sad irony to all of this, recognised by the majority of the site’s users, is that heights constantly fluctuate. Not only is it likely that the 69-year-old Dennis Waterman has slightly shrunk since his Minder heyday, but human heights also change throughout the day. As Celeb Heights like to remind readers, there are such things as “morning heights” and “evening heights,” with our bodies extending by up to two centimetres during sleep, and then slowly decreasing through the day.

Unexpected Celeb Heights mysteries Dennis Waterman and Rula Lenska CREDIT: FIONA HANSON/PA WIRE

So, hypothetically, a paparazzi shot of Tom Cruise - who was recently dropped from the Jack Reacher franchise for being "too short" - heading to the corner shop in his flip-flops to pick up a pint of milk is a far greater indicator of his height than the movie premiere he attends later that night.

This aimlessness doesn’t stop debate, however. Cruise in particular is a multi-faceted Celeb Heights conundrum, with obsessives not only having to contend with speculation about his actual height, but the mystery of whether he employs lifts in his shoes, coupled with a media-driven narrative that has painted him as a diminutive man.

“People… have been brainwashed by the media,” one user writes. “Sometimes once someone gets an idea in their head, it will influence anything they see. The fact that Tom has had three wives taller than him, or much taller in Nicole [Kidman’s] case, has helped fuel the perception... People probably don’t even stop to think about this and use logic.”

Katie Holmes and (the allegedly diminutive) Tom Cruise in 2005 CREDIT: JONATHAN LODGE

So why do thousands of readers flock to Celeb Heights daily? Despite there being no such thing as a truly definitive height, and the apparently rampant use of artificial lifts in the celebrity world. The answer may be found in the profile of Harry Styles. Unlike the majority of online communities driven by celebrities, the Celeb Heights comment sections appear unusually dominated by heterosexual males, while the most endlessly picked-over celebrities are men: your Biebers, your Efrons and your Kit Haringtons.

But take a venture into the comments section of Styles’s entry, and you’ll quickly surmise that much of the discussion revolves around Taylor Swift, Styles’s one-time paramour. Swift is often spoken of in the context that she, as another apparently tall person, is a strong point of comparison when it comes to speculating about Styles’s own height.

But there’s also a recurring theme of emasculation throughout the discussion, as if Styles would be slightly demeaned as a heterosexual male if his girlfriend were taller than him. Those who claim that Styles is taller than Swift are quickly written off as fantasists, while others claim he has the “look” of a man who would wear lifts in his shoes.

Harry Styles, who appears significantly shorter than Prince Harry CREDIT: EAMONN M MCCORMACK/PA WIRE

“He is obviously very insecure about height for some reason,” one user writes. “Would not surprise me if he extended his body with surgery next.”

Others are more eager to gloat, claiming Styles’s apparently over-inflated height is part of a conspiracy amongst boybands and those with significant teenage girl fanbases: “I bet Bieber, One Direction, and 5 Seconds of Summer all exaggerate their height by 6 cm, yes all of them and every member. Harry’s never been over 5’ 9.25” and he never will be. Don’t forget to add Zac Efron, the Jonas Brothers and Timberlake/NSYNC to my list. Such dishonest men about their height and probably other things.”

Every so often, Paul writes about this phenomenon. It’s been most noticeable in the aftermath of a Celeb Heights scandal in which a prolific user of the site, who often supplied candid photographs of himself posing with celebrities he’d pestered on the street, repeatedly posted that he was 5’ 8” in stature, a claim many of the site’s users insisted to be untrue.

Celeb Heights members debating the stature of Kit Harington

After raging on for several years, Paul met the gentleman in person during a trip to New York, where he measured him twice using his personal stadiometer – a piece of medical equipment used to measure human height. Like the end of a particularly dull courtroom drama, Paul discovered that his online rival wasn’t in fact 5’ 8”… and instead somewhere between 5’ 6.5” and 5’ 7”. Now exposed, the man in question was booted from the site.

“Trying to build a credible site and having a big photo contributor be economical with the truth with regards to his own stature, did do some damage the site,” Paul wrote. “He can claim whatever he wants, but if you take part in a site in which people are putting trust/faith in your estimates/encounters and are telling people you are 5 ft 8 when you are really in 5’ 6.5-7” zone, it is a big matter of importance.”

When asked by puzzled commentators for his thoughts on the motivation behind this height hoax, Paul’s theory was succinct: “Some people like to claim something they are not for an ego boost, to seemingly impress others, or in rare cases have convinced themselves they are taller than they really are.”

That someone would go to such lengths to lie about an extra half an inch, or that such effort was put into disproving their claim, isn’t entirely shocking when it comes to the weirder corners of the internet. But it does speak to the site’s relationship with the truth, and how height doesn’t just mean bodily measurements, but whether you’re at all trustworthy as an individual.

In the world of Celeb Heights, measurements are the equivalent of a marriage vow, a statement of fact that, if broken, entirely destroys a relationship that is supposed to be founded on honesty. So when Taylor Swift says in an interview that she is 5’ 11”, and then claims a year later that she is 5’ 10”, it’s not a simple mistake, or that she doesn’t really care that much about her own height. It’s because she’s lying.

“You can’t get round [Swift] lying?” one user asked. “Then how to explain Grant Gustin claiming 6’ 2”, [despite being] shorter than Robbie Amell, who claims 6’ 1”. Dwayne Johnson, who now claims 6’ 4.5”, who is exactly the same height as Brandon Routh, who claims 6’ 2.5” and looks it. Or Taylor Swift being shorter than 5’ 8.5” Blake Lively, even though she wore elevated boots and Blake only flat sneakers? Yeah, it can’t be. Probably everyone else is lying about their height except them.”

For Paul and, to be fair, many of those intimately involved in height fandom, celebrity measurements appear to be a funny curiosity, one that’s sort of wacky and arguably redundant, but largely harmless in the grand scheme of things.

But the site is also an unexpected rabbit hole of male insecurity, where height is the ultimate symbol of masculinity, virility and apparent sex appeal, and nothing is more emotionally satisfying than spending a couple of hours a day belittling a pop star for being a few centimetres shorter than his girlfriend. Everyone does need a hobby.

Why women want tall men

As originally seen in Psychology Today

There’s just something appealing about tall men. Napoleon aside, tall men are more likely to win the popular contest in presidential votes and to be re-elected once in office (Stulp, 2013).  Their greater leadership potential may have something to do with the fact that tall men have higher self-esteem(whether or not deserved), are happier, and less likely to feel jealous toward other men.  When it comes to romantic partners, men and women tend to sort themselves out so that they form pairs of similar height. However, among married couples, women are more likely to be shorter than their husbands, if only by a few inches.

In an intriguing 2013 study, Dutch psychologists Gert Stulp, Abraham Buunk, and Thomas Pollet followed up on some of their earlier work on male height to find out more about what leads women to prefer those lanky guys. They were also curious to learn how and why people are satisfied with their own height.

Evolutionarily speaking, one might argue that a tall man would be preferred by women because, if you follow the argument, he’ll be stronger and better able to ward off physical treats to his family. In the beast-eats-man world of primitive civilizations, this argument might have a rationale. However, unless taller equals stronger, faster, and smarter even in this scenario, height wouldn’t seem to offer any particularly unique advantage. 

You can probably come up with your own counter-arguments to the evolutionary interpretation on your own.  Three come to mind for me. First, taller men may only seem stronger because we conflate height with weight and strength. Second, being “looked up to,” quite literally, may at some subconscious level lead taller men to feel that they have superior qualities. Third, and most importantly from a scientific perspective, we simply don’t have the experimental cause-and-effect data to back up the idea that social attitudes and not the caveman explanation are behind any particular set of mating advantages being conferred to taller men.

The tall man=power equation may simply be part of the male-female power differential.  Men are taller because of hormonal influences, to be sure. This then becomes translated into social attitudes. We’re all conditioned by media images to prefer men and women with a certain kind of appearance. As proponents of a biosocial gender approach argue, the two sets of influences are completely, and utterly, intertwined.

There was also a very practical reason that motivated Stulp and his team to investigate height preferences. We tend to think that we’re stuck with the height our genes and environments jointly determine.  However, some parents seek to take matters into their own hands by giving their too-short or too-tall children hormonal treatments during the years of active growth.  Their reasons for changing their children’s heights probably vary all over the place, but a main motivation, we might imagine, is to help their children fit in better among their peers and, ultimately, have better luck in the dating and mating department. Such treatments can involve considerable risk, expense, and subsequent resentment from their height-manipulated offspring. If the treatments don’t pay off in terms of intended benefits, there’s even less reason for parents even to think about going through with such radical interventions.

Let’s get to the findings. Stulp and his colleagues sought to understand not only who prefers whom in terms of height, but also how people feel about their own height. The participants in this study were 650 first-year heterosexual psychology students who received course credit for completing the survey. They estimated their own height, and reported on their sex, ethnicity (most were Dutch or German), and reported on their sexual orientation. The rest of the questions, simply enough, asked them to report on their relationship status, the height of their partner, the satisfaction with their own height, and their satisfaction with the height of their partners.

The results on partner preferences are a bit discouraging if you’re a short man. In general, women were more likely than men to think that the man should be taller and they didn’t want to be in a relationship in which they were taller than their male partners. Men liked being taller than their partners, but they didn’t care about the height difference as much as women did. 

As it turns out, people do tend to partner with people of similar height due to a phenomenon known as assortative mating.  However, no one seemed totally happy with their partner’s actual height. Men were most satisfied with women slightly shorter than them (about 3 in.), but women were most satisfied when they were much shorter than their male partners (about 8 in.).  

How do all these partner differences translate to personal satisfaction? The findings for women were surprising in light of the partner preference data. Tall women were more satisfied with their height than short women were. This could be because of the tall man’s preference for slightly less tall women, as the authors conclude. However, I would argue that tall women are portrayed highly favorably in the celebrity world from models to Hollywood actresses, and that these images actually may be having a positive effect on women who might otherwise feel that they are “too tall” for their man.

Unfortunately, in the area of personal satisfaction, there was some bad news from this study for short men, who- like the shorter women- reported being dissatisfied with their height. These findings are consistent with the data from other studies showing that tall men enjoy an advantage in self-esteem and happiness. Here again, the authors link the dissatisfaction of the shorter men to the fact that women prefer tall men. However, it’s also possible that mate preferences have nothing to do with the self-esteem of shorter men and that they simply face discrimination due to the social advantages afforded to the height-favored. It's also possible that similar discrimination leads to some of the short women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies.

There are two pessimistic interpretations of these findings, then. One is that no one is ever truly happy with the height of his or her partner. We can offset this by keeping in mind the age group of the participants might offer some hope. People can “grow” to love their partners for more than their physical attributes, particularly once they get past the earliest and most judgmental phases of life, and relationships. The other finding, that short men and women are both dissatisfied with their height, may also apply more to the young than the psychologically more mature. Again, this is a problem that time, and greater experience in the world, can help them conquer. 

The authors conclude their fascinating study by pointing out that much of this height perception and preference is relative. Arguing against the evolutionary interpretation, they point out that height preferences are not universal throughout the world, as has been shown in studies of non-Western sample. The authors also point out that, on the basis of their data, the idea that parents would want to control the height of their children isn’t justified. Finally, given the biases that people in Western societies have toward height, they recognize that their participants may not always be completely truthful. Perhaps people with higher personal satisfaction simply “feel” taller, and this bias leads to an inflated set of statistical results.

This study shows the hidden biases we may have toward people based on nothing other than their physical appearance. No matter what your actual height, it is the personal qualities you bring to a relationship that, eventually, will bring you into contact with your ideal partner.

Do Short Men Stand A Chance?

As originally seen in AskMen

Show Off Your Other Traits

When talking to a woman you've just met, show her your sense of humor and charm. Don't remain focused on your height, or that's all the person you're talking with will see.

Show her your standout personality by being attentive, cracking a joke or two, flirting, and being the chivalrous gentleman that you are. A trick is to be friendly to others you meet (especially when the object of your affection is around), and she'll see that you're naturally a nice guy who's friendly to everyone because you're comfortable in your own skin. And if your personality shines through and your appearance is great to boot, she'll be looking up to you all night, as will all the other men.

Be Confident

Confidence is of prime importance (for anyone) whentalking to a woman— or anyone for that matter.

If you're feeling sorry for yourself and blaming your lack of dates on your miserable height, women will believe this too. Nothing turns women off more than a man who's insecure and unhappy with himself; but, if you're confident, she'll forget about your height altogether. The trick is to be confident without being arrogant — you can feel like you're great, but don't act like you're on a throne and deserve a royal salute.


Go After Shorter Women

If you feel that taller women may not give you the time of day, and you don't want to be reminded of your height whenever you're walking side-by-side — even when she's not in heels — just go for women that are your height or a bit shorter.

There are plenty of gorgeous, petite women, so it's up to you to approach them. We don't even consider this to be lowering your standards since going for women who are not model-height isn't exactly scraping the bottom of the barrel. But hey, if your dream girl is a woman who makes Gisele Bundchenlook like a dwarf, you may just have to aim a little lower.

Definite Don'ts

Don't Bulk Up Too Much

You can go to the gym and get in shape, but don't overcompensate for your height by making up for it in width. You don't want to look like one of those men who have huge arms and wear tight T-shirts to show off their bulging biceps, so that people won't notice your height. This will only make you look stubby and stumpy — and, men, remember that proportion is key. It is possible for you toget cut without getting huge.

Don't Fell Sorry For Yourself

Even if you feel that all of your problems are due to your lack of height, this negative attitude will only make things worse in your life. It's tempting to make like George Costanza and be miserable, but your self-pity will only make you look smaller in others' eyes.

Measure Your Success

While you may like to compare yourself to your tall buddies, you'll have to accept that your height isn't something you can change, at least not until men's heels return to mainstream.

This means that you'll have to make everything else about yourself grand — your intelligence, sense of humor, personality, confidence, charisma, and style. And if this seems like a tall order to fill, just think of it as your rise to the top.

Women overwhelmingly demand a body type only 14% of men can achieve

As originally seen in the Revelist

Dating is hard enough without all the expectations we set for our partners, yet we're all guilty of having them. While we normally think of men having an unattainable "body ideal" for women, the truth is women also have an "ideal" body type for the men they pursue. Most guys are more likely to consider shape and weight when it comes to a female significant other, but women tend to focus on height as a dealbreaker.

According to many ladies, dating a short dude is a big no-no. What's even more concerning is the fact that only a small percentage of men actually meet women's height "requirements."

According to some very telling statistics, only 14% of men in the US are 6 feet tall or over, which means 86% of US men don't meet most women's ideal.

Plenty of women describe their dream man as being tall — six feet or more. But judging by the statistics, that's pretty tough to find.

"I am definitely attracted to taller guys," one Reddit user explained. "I dated someone recently who was a little less than a foot taller than me and I really liked it. I do prefer it.”

For some, it's about the security the height difference makes them feel.

“I do tend to feel awkward dating people who are shorter than me, and I'm not entirely sure why," another Reddit user commented. "It's like it's a mental thing I have where I need my partner to be bigger than me to make me feel secure or something. I like feeling small when I'm with a guy.”

For other women, it's 100% about the man's insecurities rather than their own.

"I have never met a short guy who was completely comfortable with his own height. Most are extremely self-conscious to the point of making mean comments about my height," a woman wrote on her blog. She also added that she's found that most shorter guys have a Napoleon complex and feel the need to overcompensate.

"I also deal with so many ignorant men who make a huge deal about my height, probably to bury their own insecurity or intimidation," a woman told BuzzFeed. "They make endless unwarranted comments, trying to reassure me that I don't seem 'too tall' or 'too big.' They'll say, 'You carry it well,' or 'Just don't wear heels and you're fine.'"

In fact, some are so used to the whole "the man needs to be taller" norm that they're critical of other people's relationships, too

Recently, a photo of Joe Jonas and fiancée Sophie Turner sparked a conversation about their height difference. “She is sooooo much taller than him," one Instagram user commented. “And why does she wear such high heels?” another wrote. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being taller than your partner, but it just seems uncomfortable to accentuate it like that.”

Unfortunately, it seems like women are more to blame for the height stigma than men are.

photo: Heather Hazzan and Lily Cummings (All Woman Project)

Studies show that men are much more open to dating someone outside of their height requirements than women are. "Twenty-three percent of men but only four percent of women said they were open to a relationship in which the woman was taller," a Huffington Post article explained.

Of course, not all women consider height to be a major factor.

"It's all about the sense of humor for me, have dated plenty of guys who are shorter than me if they are loaded with witty retorts," a Reddit user said.

Lucky for them — they have a much bigger pool of men to choose from.

“Somehow I’ve always dated shorter guys. In general the guys that have been attracted to me have been shorter. It used to frustrate me when I was younger, but then I just decided to embrace it. I like that a guy has to be confident and secure in himself to date me. I’m 5’11” and my boyfriend is 5’7” - we’ve been together for 3 years and are always told by friends and family that we are the best couple. I like breaking stereotypes, but at the end of the day it’s more about the fact that we love and ‘get’ each other," another wrote.

Truth is, height is just a number and seeking a "tall guy" is just a distraction from seeking someone for all the right reasons.

Plus, there's no harm in exploring someone outside your ideal, especially if they look anything like these sexy, short dudes.

The long and the short of it: eight reasons why short men come up short

This article originally appeared in The Conversarion

Spurned by women, more likely to end up in jail, doomed to earn less, destined to languish in poorly paid jobs, plagued by feelings of inferiority and coming up short where coming up matters most, you’d think life had dealt the short straw to short men. And maybe it has.

Short men tend to be poorer

The rapidly diminishing segment of the population older than I am will remember the celebrated Frost Report “class sketch” where John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett represent the upper, middle and lower classes in the UK — the height differences symbolising who looks up to, and down on, whom.

As far back as 1915, it was observed bishops were taller than preachers — a trend continued in the towering figure of Cardinal Pell (190 cm).

recent British study found that every extra 1 cm in height increased males’ earnings by about A$500 a year. Social class gradients in height are a consistent finding in the literature, although we are coming closer together. A study of 7,735 middle-class British men born between 1919 and 1939 found a 3 cm height gap between manual and non-manual workers. It will take 20 years before manual workers will be as tall as non-manual workers are now.

We see short men as less powerful

In one experiment, students were asked to draw a figure representing their concept of an average bloke and an ideal national leader. Two-thirds of students drew the leader as taller than the citizen. When asked if they saw themselves as a potential political leader, taller students expressed more confidence in their leadership abilities and more interest in running for a political office.

This translates into politics. The shorter candidate has defeated the taller in only eight of the 28 US elections since 1900. In our time, the improbable giant killer has been George W. Bush, who defeated two taller opponents: John Kerry, who was 11 cm taller, and Al Gore, who was 3 cm taller. Hillary Clinton (169 cm) will have to overcome a 19 cm deficit if she is to defeat her likely opponent Donald Trump (188 cm).

Women prefer taller men

Women like their men tall, though there may be a ceiling effect (so to speak) at somewhat over 185 cm. According to many users, the dating site eHarmony reportedly discriminates against short men signing up because they can’t find matches for them.

If women were randomly paired with men, we would expect about 8-10% of women to be taller than their male partners. And this does happen occasionally: Nicole Kidman (180 cm) is a serial shorter-man coupler, overshadowing Keith Urban by 2 cm and Tom Cruise by 10 cm. But in reality, only about 4% of women are taller than their partners.

Very short men (less than 163 cm) have fewer lifetime sexual partners(five versus seven partners) than taller men. Tall men also have more reproductive successAmong homosexual men, men who prefer a more active sexual role prefer shorter partners, whereas those who prefer a more passive sexual role preferred taller partners.

Women’s preference for tall men varies with the menstrual cycle. Women are turned on by tall men more when they are in the follicular (fertile) phase, and when their partners were chosen with a short-term relationship in view.

About 4% of women are taller than their partners. Cristian/FlickrCC BY

Taller men are smarter

Height has been consistently but weakly associated with intelligence in humans. Height may be an accumulative biomarker of general healthduring development, or genetic factors may impact both height and intelligence.

Shorter people feel less secure and likeable

In one experiment, 60 adults from the general population who were prone to having “mistrustful thoughts” underwent a virtual reality experience of a train ride on the underground.

The participants experienced the same virtual trip journey twice: once at their normal height and once at a height that had been virtually reduced by 25 cm. Although participants didn’t consciously notice the height difference, more of them reported feeling less capable, less likeable, more insecure and inferior when they were virtually dwarfed.

Short men are more likely to commit violent crime

study of 760,000 Swedish conscripts found that every 10 cm of height reduces the risk of violent criminality by 7% even when adjusted for socioeconomic status. However, the effect disappeared when adjusted for intelligence: taller men are more intelligent, and therefore less likely to commit violent crime.

Taller men may live longer

There is a vigorous debate around the relationship between height and mortality. Some researchers have found that shorter stature is associated with longer life. Taller people are more likely to die of cancer (each 1 cm in height increases relative risk by about 0.7%), perhaps because they have more cells and hence a greater risk of DNA mistranscription when cells divide. The greatest risk is for melanoma, perhaps due to a larger exposed skin surface.

However, most studies have found that taller people have longer lives, although the effect is small. Various studies have found that each extra 1 cm of height reduces the relative risk of death at any age by about 0.5%0.6% and 2%.

Short men have shorter … other bits

Can it get any worse? It can. It may be that short men are short … elsewhere. While we lack hard evidence, so to speak, we can get some indication from two studies on this subject (which goes to show that everything has been studied).

study of 5,200 Americans found that very short men (less than 160 cm) were three times more likely to report a small penis than men taller than 193 cm.

And an Italian survey of 3,300 men that measured the height of both the participants and their John Thomas (or Giovanni Tomasi in Italian) found positive, but weak, correlations with flaccid and stretched penis length.

Unfortunately, a few studies have found short men are short all over. from www.shutterstock.com

The various disadvantages of short stature in men arise from both genetic and environmental factors. As so often happens, biological differences are amplified by social stereotypes. Height is one of the most visible and obvious differences between men and women, and therefore, like muscularity, emblematic of masculinity.

There are probably sociobiological reasons behind women’s preference for tall men. Height integrates lifetime exposures to deprivation, illness and injuries, and is an “honest advertisement” of the body’s ability to withstand them.

Most height-related differences are modest, and although we can make light of it, short stature can be a source of serious psychological concern. Former French President Nicholas Sarkozy (165 cm) wears 6 cm platform shoes and insists on standing on “Sarkozy boxes” behind lecterns.

However, short men can take heart from Mugsy Bogues, the shortest player ever to play in the NBA, who at 160 cm was 71 cm shorter than the tallest, Manute Bol, but managed to keep up pretty well.

Why Tall Men Win

This article originally appeared in Mean’s Health

Napoleon was right to have a complex: We like our leaders tall. People prefer bosses and political leaders to be physically imposing, which is one reason why tall people push for leadership positions more often than their shorter counterparts, according to a pair of studies in Social Science Quarterly.

The two studies interviewed 467 college students about leadership abilities and asked them to draw an ideal leader next to an average citizen. Sixty-four percent of the students drew the leader as taller than the citizen. The second study quizzed students about their effectiveness as leaders and asked if they would ever seek out a leadership position. As height of the male respondent increased, so did his confidence in his leadership abilities.

More from MensHealth.com: Height Issues

“People tend to ally themselves in groups with certain taller individuals,” said study co-author Prof. Gregg R. Murray, professor of political science at Texas Tech University. “The taller individual then tends to dominate the group, which builds the taller person’s confidence further down the road.”

So what does that mean for the rest of us? The key is to mimic the confidence of tall people. Here's how:

Keep the tone of your voice steady. Murray advises watching a Larry King interview with a famous celebrity or politician. King often manipulated the tone of his voice to match that of his powerful subjects. The key is to keep your tone constant. Lowering it conveys embarrassment and meekness.

Stay on top of your workout. Evolutionary theory suggests that tall people earn our trust because their physical dominance makes us feel protected, Murray says. If you don’t have the natural height advantage, you can still convey the illusion of height by making a simple adjustment to your posture. Follow these tips on how to carry your body.

Don’t underdress. Appearance is everything. One way to gain the benefit of physical dominance is to look like you matter, says Murray. Easier said than done? Get the Men's Health Color Advantage and gravitate toward the shoes, pants and shirts that will help you naturally exude confidence.

Trust your abilities. “What our study really shows,” Murray says, “is that people who feel qualified are more likely to put themselves out there and take a risk.” It sounds like a no-brainer, but knowing you’re qualified and performing like it are two very different things. Just follow the lead of the World’s Richest and Fittest Guys. They’ll teach you that taking a big risk can lead to huge dividends—regardless of height.

Standing tall pays off, study finds

When it comes to height, every inch counts--in fact, in the workplace, each inch above average may be worth $789 more per year, according to a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology (Vol. 89, No. 3).

The findings suggest that someone who is 6 feet tall earns, on average, nearly $166,000 more during a 30-year career than someone who is 5 feet 5 inches--even when controlling for gender, age and weight.

The height-salary link was found by psychologist Timothy A. Judge, PhD, of the University of Florida, and researcher Daniel M. Cable, PhD, of the University of North Carolina. They analyzed data from four American and British longitudinal studies that followed about 8,500 participants from adolescence to adulthood and recorded personal characteristics, salaries and occupations. Judge and Cable also performed a meta-analysis of 45 previous studies on the relationship between height and workplace success.

Judge offers a possible explanation for the height bias: Tall people may have greater self-esteem and social confidence than shorter people. In turn, others may view tall people as more leader-like and authoritative.

"The process of literally 'looking down on others' may cause one to be more confident," Judge says. "Similarly, having others 'looking up to us' may instill in tall people more self-confidence."

As such, the biggest correlation between height and salary appeared in sales and management positions--careers in which customer perception has a major impact on success. If customers believe a tall salesperson is more commanding, for example, they may be more likely to follow the salesperson's wishes, Judge says.

Accordingly, height was most predictive of earnings in jobs that require social interaction, which include sales, management, service and technical careers. The height effect also mattered--though to a lesser degree--in other jobs such as crafts and blue-collar and clerical positions, researchers found.

The study also found that shorter men are slightly more likely to encounter height bias in the workplace than are shorter women. This phenomenon might have evolutionary origins, Judge posits.

"Perhaps when humans were in the early stages of organization, they used height as an index for power in making 'fight or flight' decisions," he says. "Of course, physical stature and prowess may be less important today, but those evolutionary appraisals may still be with us." And people may be more likely to apply those fight or flight subconscious appraisals to men than women, he adds.

Regardless, the study provides evidence that a height bias in the workplace may influence interactions and salaries just as previous research indicates attractiveness, weight and body image do.

Since men and women tend to differ in height, researchers controlled for gender by using the average height of 5 feet 9 inches for an American man and 5 feet 3 inches for a woman. They also controlled for age because people tend to lose 1 to 3 inches of their height during a lifetime.

The four longitudinal studies Judge and Cable used in their analysis were: the Quality of Employment survey from the U.S. Department of Labor, National Longitudinal Surveys by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the Intergenerational Studies by the Institute of Human Development at the University of California Berkeley, and Great Britain's National Child Development Study.

Survey: The taller you are, the more confident you feel at work


This story originakky appeared in The Ladders

NOVEMBER 23, 2018

Why do taller people get ahead at work? Researchers have come up with a variety of reasons for their advantage.

As a petite person who works in a world of tall cabinets and high desks, I understand that the corporate world is not necessarily designed for people under 5″3. Not being the default is a small reminder that you do not belong at work, and these small reminders add up. A new survey from healthcare network BodyLogicMD of over 1,000 professionals found that our heights can influence how we feel about our work.

The professional height advantage

Height appears to give employees a boost of self-esteem. The shorter you were in the survey, the less successful and confident you were likely to feel. Men who said they were taller than average men, or at least 5″11, and taller than average women who were at least 5″6 said they were taken more seriously at work, compared to their shorter colleagues. The majority — 71% — of men and women who were taller than average also said they were more confident at work than their shorter than average peers.

We know we live in a society where physical appearance matters, not only because it shapes how people see us, but also how we see ourselves. Shorter professionals were also less confident about their earnings matching their worth. Forty-five percent of tall men said they earned what they deserved, while 33% of short men said the same.

The suspicion of not being on equal footing may be right. One 2004 study found that an employee who is 6-feet tall would be predicted to earn nearly $166,000 more over the course of a 30-year career than someone who is 5″5, even after controlling for gender.

Why do taller people get ahead at work? Researchers have come up with a variety of reasons for their advantage. Some believe it is a holdover of cavemen politics: an evolutionary response to wanting taller, stronger people to help us protect and get food during our hunter-gatherer days. Others bring up the fact that taller people may have gotten more of the key social skills needed from being picked more during gym class. Researchers on height during adolescence found that, “those who were relatively short when young are less likely to participate in social activities that may facilitate the accumulation of productive human capital such as social adaptability.”

I tend to believe that the height premium can also be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We are taught to see taller people as richer and successful, so they become that.

As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in “Blink”: “No one ever says, dismissively, of a potential CEO candidate that ‘he’s too short.'” He notes that “we have a sense, in our minds, of what a leader is supposed to look like.”

To move beyond the default of the ideal leader, we have to look beyond the surface of what success should look like. And that means learning not to just look up.